Some individuals are just born without a gag reflex
I’m not crazy about fish or shellfish. I can easily go a whole month without having any of the
aforementioned “delicacies.” But there are 2 inhabitants of the sea in particular that I don’t like one bit. They could go extinct tomorrow and I wouldn’t shed a single tear. Let’s start with the “Least Wanted” list.
Smoked herring
I grew up in the Dominican Republic, an island in the Caribbean where a lot of people eat smoked herring. I don’t know if it’s locally sourced or just imported from hell. Have you watched one of those movies where two families have been fighting for generations and it’s been so long that the family members don’t even know what the fight is all about? Well, something similar happens with the herring and me. I’ve never had it and yet I despise it. I think it has to do with the potent and lingering smell. And when I say lingering I mean will-stick-to-your-soul-and-suffocate-it, lingering. I worked in a food warehouse for a while. I never carried one of the boxes filled with smoked herring, and yet, my clothes ended up stinking of herring. I had to throw them away because no detergent, bleach, sulphuric acid, or vinegar, managed to get the stink out of them.
If you’re a prankster looking out for practical joke ideas, here’s one: leave one smoked herring inside someone’s car. They’ll have to burn the car to get rid of the awful smell.
Oh, I almost forgot, not everything about the smoked herring is bad. If we are ever attacked by space aliens, we’ll be able to repel the invaders by shooting balls made with ground-smoked herring.
Maybe you’re wondering if there’s a different presentation of herring aside from the smoked one. The answer is yes. There’s also pickled herring and fermented herring. Yummy! If you thought dried herring was disgusting, wait until you give slimy and quasi-rotten herring a try. Not even Cerberus, the three-headed dog guarding the gates to the underworld, would eat something like that.
Sardines in a can
The world population loves sardines. Billions of people can’t have enough sardines. Not me. To this date, it’s a mystery to me how some individuals can enjoy eating something that smells rotten. The way I see it, a human being who can eat a can of sardines won’t have any problem surviving in a jungle.
My oldest son loves sardines. My middle son doesn’t. When they were little, the oldest one would enjoy a can of sardines as a snack. That would send the middle one into a tailspin: “Oh my God, what is that stench? It’s you again. Why don’t you go out into the yard instead of stinking up the whole house?” Nowadays I can laugh about that, but back then I had to remain impartial.
The first time a can of sardines was opened, six months after canning it, they thought the experiment was a complete failure because of the foul smell. It wasn’t until a brave employee ate the sardines and didn’t die, that they realized the canning process had indeed kept the fish corpses from going bad. But hey, if you’re ever being chased by a wild beast who only eats fresh meat, just cover yourself with sardines from a can and the creature will think that you’ve been dead for years. ☼
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Alex Guerrero is a content creator who lives in Lawrence, KS. He’s very vocal in his displeasure over pineapple pizza. Chocolate, on the other hand, makes everything better!
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